I recently read an article in a well known, popular men's magazine (which I normally really like), but one of the shorts (one page articles) made me want to puke. It was on women's secret sex thoughts and what men should do about them. OK, I'm all about making sure everything works out the way it's supposed to and everyone walks away happy, but I have to comment on some of the drivel I saw in this short.
QUOTES ARE PARAPHRASED
1) "I wish he'd finish already."
Um...Hello? Say something to clue us in on this. The only reason a guy goes for the long haul on a specific run is because he thinks it's what you want. If all you want is to get down and get some, then just say so, we'll finish any time.
2) "I think I forgot to shave my legs."
OK, that happens, but the "expert's" response is that men should act as if they don't care and that acting as if it's a big deal will make it worse for both involved. Look, Mr. "I don't ever get any so I'll sleep with a gorilla," if she didn't shave her legs there's a good chance he will get rugburn on his inner thigh. If it's a onetime thing it won't matter because unless she's making a run for "hippie of the month," he probably won't notice, but telling her it's "ok" to forget to shave welcomes it to happen again. When it's ok for him to get hammered every night with his friends, get ridiculously fat, lose his job so he can't support whatever she's spending his money on, and she doesn't care, then she can slide once in a while.
3) "I want to be uninhibited, take control, and use toys."
The "expert" suggests he read her mind and based on cues figure it out. That would be like putting together a 1000 piece puzzle of a cloudless sky. Uninhibited, taking control, use of toys ... these are good things, provided the toys are for her.
4) "There are times when I think I still have to do the dishes when we're done.
Two things here. First, why didn't you do the dishes earlier? Second, if the guy brought up stock prices or the score of the football game in the middle of sex there would be hell to pay. This is not ok for him, it's not ok for her.
...and I think perhaps my personal favorite:
5) "Sometimes I can't help but compare him to my ex."
The expert here suggests that maybe she even fantasizes, or is conflicted, and it just happens. Oh, ok. So if he gets caught watching porn can he use the excuse that he's just "conflicted?" Let me just ask one simple question. What would happen if he compared her to his ex?
I understand the purpose of the article, but I also understand that a relationship that is solely based on sex isn't going to last very long and it's definitely not going anywhere. If the relationship is going to last, it's going to be based on communication and trust. Along with that comes the ability to talk to one's partner about what they want. OK, fine, once in a blue moon you think about something outside what's going on in the bedroom. If it happens once in a while, you're normal. If it happens all the time, you've got a problem.
So, make sure you shave your legs, act like a wild woman, get the dishes done, and keep your inappropriate thoughts to yourself. We figured out how to do it, in the world of "equal rights," you need to figure it out too. If you can't, stop shaving your legs and move to Berkeley.
I am not an environmentalist. Sure, I recycle, but that's only because the garbage bin isn't big enough for all my trash. It's not that I hate the environment, on the contrary, I do what makes sense and isn't overly inconvenient. In general, if I don't have to go out of my way, I recycle. I tell others (particularly the environmental wackos) that I want to chop down all the trees and pave the earth for the reaction I get when they go postal and scream at the top of their lungs about how I'm a horrible person. It's childish and immature, but if you know me, that's par for the course.
I say this because it's important to understand that despite it, I would love to own an electric car. Think about it. Come home, car is on empty, plug it in and miraculously the next day, it's full! On the direct side of it, a savings of five to ten minutes a couple of times a week. This is also not to mention the loss of the oil company's whim at how much it wants to charge on any given day for gas.
What a great idea! So, I look into it a little and find an article entitled, "6 Electric Cars You Can Buy Right Now." How exciting! Six I can buy RIGHT NOW! and this is from 2 years ago, who knows what else it out there. So I read the article...
WTF?
First of all, I'm not a vegan or homosexual, but driving around in one of these things will change that instantly. Second, the furthest I can go on one charge of the best of these six options is 55 miles ... which will get me to work but not home. Third, any crash sustained will instantly render the user as dead. These things make the Smart Car look like a tank.
Hopefully, electric car technology has changed a lot in the last two years, because unless I want to look like a homosexual vegan who lives at work and is one fender bender away from death, I'm not buying any of these.
No luck. The two biggest options apparently, are the Chevy Volt, which looks a bit better but still only goes 40 miles using pure electricity, and the Nissan option, which is called the "Leaf." Why not "Rose Petal," or "Daisy?" or "Queen?"
And let's be honest ... are these really zero (or thereabouts) emissions vehicles? Where does the electricity they use come from? Most likely a nuclear or coal plant. Perhaps a more fitting name for this would be the Nissan Black Lung or how about the Chevy Mutation? and on another note, what happens to the batteries of these cars when they won't hold a charge anymore? Do they magically evaporate? Perhaps they go to the same magical place where the power is supposedly generated.
I understand the arguments that there isn't money in building these sorts of vehicles because big oil is keeping them on the backburner, but has it been considered that maybe we're just not technologically advanced enough yet to bring this technology to practical use? Electric vehicles will have their time, and if I'm still alive and it's a viable option, I'll buy one. But until then, buying an electric car is going way too far out of the way (gender mis-identity, unsafe, expensive, and impractical for normal use) for a product that is sub-standard based on the industry norm. Make it a bit more convenient and then maybe it becomes a viable option.
I received a check from Wells Fargo today for four cents ... this is getting framed and put on my wall.
I just watched a movie with a pretty strange name ... "The World's Fastest Indian." It took a long time to finally get around to watching it, about four years ... don't wait that long.
If you liked Rocky, see this movie.
If you ride motorcycles, you'll love this movie.
If you love speed, or land speed records, trust me, see it.
If you ever had a dream, watch this movie.
You won't be disappointed.
Why is it so hard to get over lost loves?
It's pretty simple really.
When you really love someone, you know that making them happy is the right thing to do. You know that when you give everything you can to that person you are doing a good thing. It doesn’t mean it’s the only way to your own happiness, you just know that doing things for that person makes you feel good.
Is anything else in life is so absolute?
Then it ends, and you lose that one thing you know is right.
So who is it that wonders why we can't get over it?
I have a mini fridge in my office. Because of the recent economic downturn, the higher ups came up with a way to save on energy costs...everyone has to remove their mini fridge.
OK, not a big deal, until one considers that with morale low all this is going to do is piss people off, so I came up with a suggestion. My fridge, according to the usage chart and cost of maintaining it, costs the company $34/year.
I suggested that everyone be given the option, pay $100/year for use of the mini fridge, or give it up entirely. OK, it wouldn't save energy, but if the real objective is to make up a $20,000 energy shortfall then my plan actually puts $66 into the company's pocket. The "luxury" of a fridge in my office is worth the $66. Plus, it gives people the option. The company would actually make money.
The response? No.
Let's go ahead and remove the fridges (thereby unnecessarily pissing people off), then, when people get upset they can collaborate and come up with a solution, perhaps the solution will be the $100. Perhaps it won't.
WTF? Really? When that decision is finally made a year or two from now people will still be pissed off because they lost their fridges in the first place. But we want the solution to be collaborative, so, let's piss everyone off for no reason when a solution already exists that benefits everybody. Don't we have better things to do than this? There is such a thing as common sense. Everything does not have to be a collaborative effort. Granted, I'm writing about it right now, but writing a $100 check would take a hell of a lot less time than sitting in a meeting to solve the "fridge problem."
I take my dog to the local middle school. The track is fenced in, it's old grass, and I clean up after him. Having no yard to speak of, it allows him to run around off the leash. This is important as he's only seven months old.
Yesterday, we were chasing the ball around, and he's generally pretty good about fetching, and an older guy showed up. JJ (my dog), saw him, and he was off in the distance and his dog was smaller and on a leash, so we paid no attention to him. He started walking in our direction. JJ noticed again and started running over toward him.
It took me about two seconds to realize that this guy's "little dog" wasn't a dog at all, but rather a cat, which proceeded to crawl up the guy's back and sat on his shoulder. He yelled at me, "Get your animal under control!"
I walked over, tried to catch him, but he's a puppy and my chasing him is a fun game. What does the guy do? Starts walking away...and JJ follows, so I can't really catch him. He yells again, "Why isn't your dog on a leash, he's out of control!"
I said, "He's a puppy."
He replied, "So is mine."
I said, "You have your cat on a leash."
What the hell? Anyway, no harm, no foul, we left old grumpy moron-man who walks his cat on a leash to himself.
Seriously, if you want a pet you have to leash, get a dog, otherwise, enjoy your low maintenance animal and leave those of us that need a fence alone.