I hate poetry. I always have. Poetry is sometimes the expression of feelings, but for some reason many of the poets remembered were crazy nutballs that ended up killing themselves or doing things that led to their death. Killing oneself is always stupid. What does it say about something when those who are skilled in it keep feeling their lives are worth ending? I say it's pretty profound, maybe they just got tired of people insisting they write more of this crap.
That being said I must admit I took an advanced poetry writing class (the supplement to creative writing) in college. This class was actually pretty fun. Not because I enjoyed analyzing mine and others' poetry, but rather because most everyone in the class was easily angered when others started to criticize their work. For myself, I didn't really care. I am not, nor ever have been, a poet.
I must admit however, when going through some old papers I came across my final project for that class and a poem that I can't say I actually enjoyed writing, but in retrospect I generally enjoy reading it. I don't even know if it's a real poem. It is possible I was told it's poetry because it was a class of saps. Maybe I enjoy reading it just because it's written by me, maybe I'm just disturbed...whatever the reasoning, if I can enjoy some part of it, perhaps there is something to this poetry thing...
It'S WonderFul To BE INSaNE
As I was planting explosives in my neighbor's front yard
He noticed me and said,
"Please don't blow up my yard."
I shuffle off with my hands in my pockets
The pavement is black and the woman with pink hair drives her ostrich to its death
I am knocked over by an invisible, naked boy wearing green underwear on his head
I watch him until I no longer see the bouncing briefs in the distance
Some garage salers float through the air
I think I'm crazy but I am pleased when a flat tire rolls by...
because it's wonderful to be insane.
I see a brown cow marrying Bob the bear who eats roller-blading Ethiopian ambassadors
I feed the cow my finger
Which it cares for very little
Its head rolled away and
I see the tennis racket you hit hamsters with as a child...
For some reason I remember the crippled penguin that used to play rugby with the drunk dog down the street
and the stupid peanut farmer
A woman with heterosexual tendencies walks by and forces Arnold into a lesbian relationship with the brown cow
Emphasizing it with a dead hamster she found by the sea.
I return home to discover Doug and Paul cooking dinner so I know we're not having sushi...
Rain falls and without my permission the lawn gets wet
I sit outside in my chair and begin counting the falling raindrops
Doug says I'm stupid
I say I'm insane.
Never mind, poetry is stupid.
Comments...
dugh wrote
3-23-2004 @ 09:41:05 (PST)
i agree with myself in my assessment of you. this reminds me a bit of a poem todd and i worked on (as it was never set to music i'll call it a poem) with, i believe, the exact same title. maybe i should put that up on my site for an insanely stupid poetry day...
Renee wrote
3-23-2004 @ 10:08:29 (PST)
Killing oneself is stupid. But don't judge those who do it. You will never know what they were feeling when they were so low they felt it was the only option. Besides, the only thing more stupid than killing oneself is writing poetry.
Renee wrote
3-23-2004 @ 15:19:46 (PST)
Nice poem though.
Sean wrote
3-23-2004 @ 18:34:08 (PST)
Hearing poetry read is like being force-fed someone else's sick with a beer-bong.
So frightening. I too had to write poetry as part of an advanced creative writing course in college.
Also, I was once read poetry on a date. I remember thinking that I wanted to say to my date something like, "You are an annoying, pretentious hack—you will NOT be getting laid tonight. But I will gladly pick up the dinner tab if you'll just SHUT THE FUCK UP"!
Different boy. wrote
3-23-2004 @ 21:03:37 (PST)
Poetry-only idiots?
Glad to see you're hard at work as always. Such a wonderful expression of . . . yard work. I agree entirely with your point on suicidal poets, that being said, there is more to poetry than a bunch of idiots who killed themselves. Some died perfectly happy.
Renee wrote
3-24-2004 @ 10:53:40 (PST)
Name one "happy" poet.
dugh wrote
3-24-2004 @ 12:27:28 (PST)
renee:
mookee, for one. william blake was generally pretty happy, too. the religious estatics who wrote poetry were pretty happy, as well. hmm... dante, though he was a bit lovelorn and wrote about the inferno, was overall a pretty happy guy. lord byron wrote like he was unhappy, and sure life was hard being "misunderstood" as he was, but he was a happy poet, too. shall i go on?
Different boy. wrote
3-24-2004 @ 16:34:05 (PST)
way to steal my thunder, man
dugh wrote
3-24-2004 @ 17:16:19 (PST)
quick draw mcgraw... :) feel free to add to that list!
Renee wrote
3-25-2004 @ 10:45:03 (PST)
I stand corrected. So why do poets feel the need to write about sad shit then? Can a poem be good if it deals with something happy?
Kevin "I am different" wrote
3-25-2004 @ 19:08:16 (PST)
renee
Of course it can be. Plenty of good poems are happy. They're just not the ones we hear about, because most of the people who enjoy reading poetry are so sad and depressed that all they want to read is depressing, annoying drivel. A poem is absolutely anything; a good poem is hard to define.
wrote
3-26-2004 @ 07:58:14 (PST)
Kevin "I am different"You CAN'T have such a stupid name. What's wrong with different boy? You don't see Dugh calling himself "Dugh the death defying," or see Sean being "Sean the Shamrock," stick with "Different Boy," or "DB," or "JPW," your life will be much simpler. Head over to www.ookee.com and get in on those discussions.
DB wrote
3-27-2004 @ 21:21:11 (PST)
there's a story behind it. I would like to identify myself differently, but I fear that mookee wouldn't know me otherwise. I hate the name too, I thought it was an improvement on different boy, but I guess I can use DB from now on.
shit head wrote
4-14-2004 @ 08:30:21 (PST)
dude
dude ur so stupid
dugh wrote
4-14-2004 @ 13:00:09 (PST)
hey "shit head"
classy comment there. classy email, too. "suck me@aol.com"... did you think of that all on your own or did you have to ask mommy for help?
youre momma wrote
3-7-2005 @ 07:50:57 (PST)
good shit here man
this is the best !@#$ing site ever man i really like it i will submit it to the best site or whatever the fuck it is man peace out the aliens are listenin man i got to go were havin a party in the clouds man peace out homdog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck uuuuuuuuuuu wrote
3-7-2005 @ 07:56:29 (PST)
fuckers this sucks
this is the most stupid fuckin p[oem ever u sick donkey lickin ball muncher dick face son oif a paki ill kill you bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahhahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
dugh wrote
3-7-2005 @ 08:52:08 (PST)
Now now...
Language! This is about poetry, and bad poetry at that. It's a given that Mookee is a very bad poet, but at least the imagery is reasonably above the level of a 3rd grader. "... sick donkey lickin ball muncher dick face son of a paki ..." is not only boring, but rather puerile and probably impossible. Try it on yourself sometime and let us know. Meanwhile at least go back to grammar school and learn some, you know, grammar. Ta!
you dont need to know ok wrote
4-3-2005 @ 09:38:42 (PST)
oi
right now i hate poetry too
Suki wrote
7-3-2008 @ 20:33:14 (PST)
nice poem....i hate poem too though.but this one is so funny
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